When I was younger I was so uncertain of myself, my discernment, my feelings. I would give people, situations, certain relationships, even some jobs chance after chance, even despite the anatomical & spiritual responses I received telling me to let go. I felt like everything required me to “fast and pray” or a thunderous sign from the heavens to decide on a difficult situation. I gave way too many benefits of the doubts and extended grace to situations and people that brought me harm, discomfort or pain. Most times out of 10, the answer was so obvious and I made it difficult with my own insecurity, indecisiveness, stubbornness, selfishness, hopefulness, neediness, disobedience or naivete. But every single time I held on, it was to my own subjugation.
Throughout my young adult and now mature adult years, I’ve had several experiences that presented me with a choice that would either enhance my #health and #wellness or threaten it. One of those experiences that comes to mind is when I lived overseas in the Middle East. (Let me preface the next few sentences by saying, living overseas opened up a new layer of myself that I don’t think would have blossomed if I had stayed in the comforts of the city, state, country that I was raised in. I was forced to expand in ways I never imagined. Some were very difficult. In fact, most were hard as hell. But I did it and I’m better for it. Although, knowing what I know TODAY, I would have done things differently. Such as life. Back to my point…) When I moved to the Middle East, I was 29 years old. Other than going away to university in Florida I had never lived or been to another country (except for Jamaica to visit family). The working conditions during my first year (actually both years) were extremely stressful. They were so stressful that my health and body were impacted negatively.
There were many times I was concerned if something bad would happen to my health because of the amount of stress I was under. I was ill a lot. I suffered with body aches and pains, respiratory issues, and more. I lived in the doctor’s office the entire time I lived there. Even with all of those issues, I still didn’t know when to let go. For me, I thought quitting was giving up and I also had financial goals that I wanted to accomplish. I put my pride and the pursuit of money before my own health. I knew I had options. I wasn’t forced to stay in this situation. I knew I could have advocated for myself more; or made demands that would have improved my working conditions; or I could have quit. That’s right. I could have packed up my bags when I saw the situation wasn’t changing for the better and just quit. People don’t like to say the Q-word. We’re taught from early on that “Quitters never win”; “Never Give Up”; “Don’t Quit” and all of those other catch phrases that people use to convince themselves to stay in situations that no longer serve them.
The Quitting I’m referring to isn’t giving up the minute life becomes difficult or challenging. Life is not easy sometimes. I am in no way advocating quitting life, jobs, marriages, or relationships when difficult times arise. Because they will... a lot. The strongest relationships, have been tested many times. But... you know whether or not you have reciprocity in your relationship, job, marriage, friendships, city, country, etc. You know whether or not you are serving to the best of your ability and if you are being served (despite challenges) appropriately.
What I am referring to here are the conditions in life when a situation is no longer serving you and you are no longer serving it. The conditions in which you have become bitter, unhealthy, chronically unhappy and your outlook has become so negatively impacted, you have become hardened and cynical. Yet, you hang on hoping, wishing, praying things will get better and they never do. At some point in life after you’ve tried, tried some more, tried again and tried one more time… you have to accept what is or is not and… let go. You have to know when to let go or keep going forward.
More recently, I found myself in a situation that showed me early on that this may be a threat to my emotional #health and #wellness. If it weren’t for those past experiences, I could have prolonged making a decision on whether to let go or go forward...potentially risking my total health with unnecessary trauma. No sah. Dat nah go work. I made the decision to let go. Letting go was difficult because I didn't want to, but I had to (for my health and wellness).
This is the part in life where I apply what I’ve been through to present-day situations. We are all human and none of us are perfect. There will always be some things or people that fly under the radar and catch us by surprise. Like moving to a place that you thought would have been great for you and it just doesn't work out. It happens. If you're in a situation that you know isn’t working, serving you, or you're serving it, I would always say pray first. That's what my mother always tells me. I happen to think that's great advice. Then after I pray, I analyze if: reciprocity, respect, intuition, and wellness are being exchanged, occurring, and enhanced.